When You Do Everything Right

I was preparing for bed, kicking myself for binge watching television and being awake past midnight. I received a text from my sister, something not normal as she teaches and goes to bed earlier.

She let me know something was seriously wrong with a friend of ours, but she didn’t quite know what. Turns out we learned minutes later that her husband and three year old daughter were involved in an accident that injured the husband, and killed their daughter.

Details are still not available to the public, but this much I know, they did everything right.

It was a daycare drop off and our friend was walking with her, hand-in-hand. There was no child running amok or father and daughter being careless playing in a busy lot. They were simply walking to the entrance, holding hands.

All week I’ve struggled with the tragedy. I knew Mark and Kelly before they married and had children, and even back then, my husband and I marveled at how good they were with kids. They took great care of our son, taking him on special events like hockey games and firework displays.

When our daughter was critically ill, my dad passed away and we were moving to Ohio, Kelly was the one helping me pack and take care of our baby. I don’t understand why this happened. So many lives are changed forever, and the mere thought of this family’s grief has kept me up at night.

I keep going back to this: They were doing everything right.
And then a little whisper dropped into my heart. “So did My Son.”

Jesus was crucified sinless. Literally perfect. When temptation came, He turned from it. He did everything His Dad asked Him to, right down to going to the cross. He did everything right.

I don’t know why a three year old was killed any more than I can figure out why there is gunfire in airports, schools, or nightclubs. I don’t understand miscarriages, house fires, or divorce when by my observation, those that I care for did everything right.

Years ago we were at a church service when a traveling pastor visited. At the end, he prayed over people and I was amazed at his ability to know exactly what people were struggling with. He told my husband the pain he carried wasn’t because my husband did anything wrong. It wasn’t because he should have done something, or should not have.

God allowed the pain in my husband’s life to make him more like Jesus.

That dramatically changed  my husband’s perspective that day, and I’ve never forgotten that service.

For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. 1 Peter 2:19 ESV

If you are struggling with a shocking circumstance that makes you question why, especially if you did everything right, know you are not alone. Your Heavenly Father understands that pain, and has purpose for it, even if you can’t see it. I’m going to be honest, I remain shattered for my friends. I don’t understand. But, I know God knows the pain.

Is there anything you can think of where you did everything right, but deep pain came from it anyway? What helped you heal?

For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. 1 Peter 2:19 ESV

Scripture tells us that God is continually working in us, to give us the will and desire to please Him, and He is pleased when we resemble His Son. That is when we most bring God glory, and bringing God glory is our ultimate purpose.

To learn more how to find purpose in the middle of even the most difficult situations, join us for one of our upcoming Wholly Loved Conferences.

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