I’ve experienced times when it felt like my sorrow would never end. Days when my fears regarding what lay ahead felt all-consuming. Moments when I’ve shaken my fists toward heaven, wondering why God wasn’t helping. Why He wasn’t fixing the situation.
I cherish those times now, for what God showed me regarding who He is and who I am in Him. For what He did in me. Today our guest Maria Morgan, author of Outrageously Fruitful, shares a time when God allowed her to face something rather unpleasant, and what He showed her through that.
As you read her testimony, ask God what He wants you to take away from her story, and how you can cooperate with Him as He makes you more like Himself.
It wasn’t what I wanted to hear. An x-ray and ultrasound confirmed that I had two large fibroid tumors in my uterus. At least I had an answer. No wonder I always felt full whether I ate a large meal or hardly anything at all. It only made sense to do a little research while I waited for the doctor to call me with options.
All things pointed to the dreaded ‘H’-word: hysterectomy. As I scanned articles and procedures, I put in my request. “Lord, let this surgery be something that can be done laparoscopically.” A two-week recovery time was so much more appealing than an eight-week stint. Besides, with a busy schedule, I couldn’t imagine having to take it easy for two full months.
The phone call came. Not what I wanted to hear. I could leave the fibroids alone and have them monitored, unappealing since they were creating discomfort already. I could have a myomectomy, which would remove the tumors, leaving my uterus intact. But there was no guarantee more fibroids wouldn’t develop. Or I could have a hysterectomy, which would remove both tumors and uterus, eliminating the issue.
I heard the door close on my previous prayer request when the nurse said either ‘-ectomy’ would require an abdominal incision because the tumors were too large to remove any other way.
Definitely not what I wanted to hear.
As I mentally prepared for surgery, I had a choice to make: give in to fear, or trust God.Maria Morgan
But God was at work. Reminding me that I’m not the one in control – He is. As I mentally prepared for surgery, I had a choice to make: give in to fear, or trust God.
The ‘what-ifs’ swirled through my head. I’d heard countless stories of others enduring painful procedures, nicked bladders, infections, and crazy reactions to pain medications. What if I had a similar experience? What if something went wrong?
But words penned by David, the sweet Psalmist of Israel, gave me every reason to trust, “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10, KJV).
Focusing on God and who He is gave me comfort. Reading Scripture wove a beautiful tapestry that showed me the qualities of my Heavenly Father. Characteristics that will never change. He is my:
- refuge (Psalm 46:1)
- strength (Psalm 46:1)
- very present help (Psalm 46:1)
- shelter (Psalm 61:3)
- strong tower (Psalm 61:3)
Each of these graphic nouns pointed to safety. In spite of the unknowns, my security was tied to Christ. No matter the outcome, I could trust God’s plan would be accomplished. (Romans 8:28-29).
Familiar verses. I wanted assurance that everything would turn out great. But I needed to look at these verses through a God-filter. My comfort and happiness aren’t as important as my Christ-likeness. Sometimes the messes in my life and things I’d label as ‘bad’, are the very things the Lord uses to make me more like Him.
My comfort and happiness aren’t as important as my Christ-likeness.Maria Morgan
Having major surgery with an uncertain outcome wasn’t something I would have chosen. But I could embrace it knowing the Lord was in control. That His plans were good.
Everything He allows me to experience has been filtered through His hand and is God-approved to conform me to the image of Christ. So by God’s grace, I’m choosing trust over fear today.
“Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.” (Psalm 62:8).
What are you facing today? What step will you take to trust God instead of giving in to fear?
Fear is a common, and at times, helpful emotion. But God doesn’t want us to live in fear. In Christ, we have been given everything we need to live godly, victorious, and impactful lives! And we want to help give you the tools to do just that. Stay tuned for information on our Bold & Brave Conference!
We also invite you to join us this January at Beautiful Savior in La Vista for our Wholly Loved Conference, because when we live Wholly Loved, everything changes and we’re freed to live authentically, as we were created. No more worrying about what others are thinking of us or if we measure up. Simply leaning deeper into Christ as we allow Him to heal, grow, and transform us into the radiant women He created us to be.